Live to Die
by lostsunsets
Summary: Beth visits Sarah and asks to borrow her body to say goodbye to Alison. But what happens when after she says goodbye, she can't get out of Sarah? And what does Sarah have to say about all this? Soccer Cop with Sarah/Beth brotp
1. Chapter 1

A/N: this is one of those things that just came to me while watching Orphan Black with my friend Maria. So yeah, I'm thinking about making this a multi-chap fic depending on how you guys like it! Anyway! _italics _is the person inside, not controlling the body.Read, enjoy, and let me know if it's something you'd be interested in reading more of! :)

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Sarah was just getting into bed when she heard a knock on the door of Beth's apartment. Huffing, Sarah got out of bed and made her way to the door, expecting it to be Felix, she prepared a scolding for him visiting her as she was going to bed. Upon opening the door, she froze when she saw the person who started this all for her standing on the other side in the same outfit she had on at the train station. "Bloody hell," Sarah muttered as she stared at Beth.

"I could say the same thing about you. But that's not why I'm here," she said as she stepped pass Sarah to enter her apartment.

Closing the door, Sarah turned around and stared unbelievingly at the cop. "I'm pretty sure I saw you jump in front of a train like two months ago."

"Yeah, I'm dead. That hasn't changed. I do need your help with something, though. I promise I will return everything back to you when I'm done." Beth stepped closer to Sarah.

"What is it that you need?" Sarah asked.

"I kind of need your body," Beth said as she passed into Sarah.

The next thing Sarah knew she felt a cold gust enter her and she had to grab the kitchen counter to keep herself upright. "What the hell?" Sarah asked.

_Sorry, I have to do this. _Sarah heard in the back of her head, a voice that sounded very much like Beth.

"Get the bloody hell out, Beth. There isn't room in here for the both of us."

_Please, Sarah. I have to say goodbye to someone. Then I'll leave and won't be around to bother you again. Please? _Beth pleaded and Sarah could see the sincere hope in her words.

Sighing Sarah shook her head and said, "Do you want you need to, just please don't kill us… Sorry." Sarah added. "I didn't mean… Shite."

"It's okay. I'm sorry you had to see that,"Beth offered as she and Sarah swapped places, and Beth gained control of the punk's body.

_So where are we going?_ Sarah asked as Beth went into the bedroom and got dressed properly before grabbing the keys, and pink cell phone resting on the kitchen counter.

"You'll see."

Alison wasn't in the greatest mood when she got a text from Sarah saying that something has come up and she needs to see her immediately. It was well past midnight and Donnie and the kids were fast asleep. So Alison stood by the basement door and impatiently waited for Sarah to show up. God knowing what could be so urgent at the lateness of the hour. Maybe something happened to Felix, or Kira. Or maybe it was something to do with this killer clone on their asses. Whatever it was, Sarah had better have a good reason for the late hour.

The clock struck twelve fifteen when Alison heard the gate open and Sarah appear on the other side of the door, Alison ripped the door open and waited for Sarah to enter. When she entered, Alison closed the door and locked it. "What's so urgent, Sarah? It's past midnight," Alison demanded.

"Wow, you and Ali have a close relationship huh?" Beth asked Sarah in her mind, but the punk just rolled her eyes.

"Sarah? What is it?" Alison demanded once again.

Beth stared at Alison and tried to come up with what to say, as she took in Alison's ruffled hair and those adorable pink pajamas she used to tease her about. And even with the stern look on her face, Beth was falling in love with her all over again. As she continued to stare at her, Alison noticed the tears welling up in her eyes. Uncrossing her arms, Alison placed a soft hand on her arm. "Sarah? Is everything alright?"

"No," Beth said, her voice hoarse from fighting back the tears. "I'm so sorry, Ali."

Alison's eyes widen, at the nickname. There was only one person who ever called her that. And they jumped in front of a train. It couldn't be her. "Please don't call me that Sarah."

"I'm not Sarah, Ali. She's just letting me borrow her body for a little bit," Beth confessed.

"I don't understand what kind of joke you think you're pulling here, Sarah. But it isn't funny, now I must ask you to leave." Alison moved towards the door, tears welling in her own honey brown eyes.

"This isn't a joke, Alison." Beth reached out and grabbed her hand. "I came to Sarah and asked her for this favor. And now she's in the back of her mind, watching this whole thing and she's being really great. This is me, Ali. It's Beth."

Tears rolled down her face as she stared at Beth with disbelieving eyes. "Tell me something then. Proof it. Something only Beth would know."

A smile formed on her lips as she thought to a specific memory, one that made Alison break out into giggles when it happened. "December 12th, we went ice skating at the indoor rink. You kept laughing because I couldn't get the hang of it. And I was all talk before we went, you shook your head and told me that there was finally something you were better than me at. Then we-"

Before she could finish, Alison grabbed her face and pulled her in for a fierce kiss. It only took Beth a second before she realized what was happening and wrapped her arms around Alison's waist and held her as they kissed. _Are you bloody serious, _Sarah exclaimed as she watched Beth and Alison kiss with her body.

They kissed for a moment before they pulled away to catch their breaths. Alison stared up at Beth tears running down her face, and then she threw her arms around her and held her as tight as she could while she sobbed into her shoulders. "You didn't say goodbye. Didn't you care about me at all, Beth?"

Squeezing her back, Beth replied, "Of course I did, Ali. I loved you more than anything, but I was too much of a coward to say goodbye. If I had you would've talked me out of it, and I just couldn't take it anymore. So I jumped instead. I am so sorry that I hurt you. But everything was just too much."

"I don't care! You should've fought harder, you were brave when I first met you, don't you remember?"

"Not really, Ali. To be honest, all I've done was to protect you. And Cosima. And now that I can't, you have Sarah to. And she's the utmost protective when it comes to those close to her. And I'm pretty sure that includes you now as well." _Right, Sarah?_

_ Yeah, right. _Sarah agreed.

"Please don't go, Beth."

"I have to Ali. I don't belong in this world anymore. I just came to say goodbye and to kiss you one last time." Beth said as she leaned down slightly to place a chaste kiss against Alison's lips. "I love you, Ali."

"I love you too, Beth." With a small smile, Beth released her hold on Alison and left the basement, leaving Alison standing in the middle of the room crying.

_You and Alison?! _Was the first words out of Sarah's mouth as she stood in the living room, Beth still in control of her body.

"Oh, don't sound so surprised."

_Bloody hell, Beth. That's so fucked up._

_"_What? She's adorable and you know it."

_No, she's an insane soccer mom. That's what she is. Anyway, I don't really care about whatever relationship you two had. It seemed lovely. Can I have my body back now? I have to rinse my mouth out..._

"Sarah," Beth said seriously. "Thank you. Thank you for letting me do this. And thank you for stepping into my place and taking care of things for me. You will look after Alison, won't you?"

Closing her eyes, Sarah nodded_. Of course Beth. Like you said, I'm protective over those I love._

"Goodbye, Sarah Manning. Try not to screw up my life too bad."

_Goodbye Beth._

Sarah felt a sudden shift and smiled to herself when she lifted up her arm. She was back in control of her body. Beth was gone, and Alison was a complete wreck. Heading to the bedroom, Sarah made a mental note to check on Alison tomorrow. To make sure she's okay after what happened tonight. Crawling into the cool sheets on the bed, Sarah heard a distant voice in the back of her head.

_Uh, Sarah? I can't get out._

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A/N: thoughts? review!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: thanks to all of you who've favorited/reviewed/followed this story! you guys are awesome! :) Enjoy!

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"What the bloody hell you mean you can't get out?" Sarah exclaimed as she sat bolt right up in bed.

_I mean I can't get out. _Beth explained. _I've tried everything I could think of and it looks like I'm stuck in here with you._

Getting herself up out of bed, Sarah made her way to the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet. "This is not happening," she said as she took a long swig from the bottle.

_Okay, let's not lose our head about this, Sarah. I'm sure we can figure something out. There has to be some way to get me out of here. And we can't think with you swallowing the whole bottle in one gulp._

Sarah stopped drinking and placed the near empty bottle down. "In case you've forgotten: you're dead, Beth. You're not supposed to be here. You weren't even meant to be enter my body in the first place. So don't try to calm me down. Holy shite…." Sarah ran her fingers through her hair and slid down the counter to sit on the floor.

Sarah stared down at the kitchen tile while she tried to catch her breath and come up with a solution to fix this whole situation. Beth was able to get in, so she had to be able to get out, right? She couldn't be stuck forever could see? Sarah was sure she'd lose her mind if she had Beth always there in the background, voicing her comments and thoughts. Not to mention what she'd think of Kira when she learned that she was Sarah's daughter.

_Sarah? I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I just needed to say goodbye to Alison so I could be able to pass on. _Beth said hesitantly as she watched Sarah try to not have a breakdown.

Exhaling, Sarah closed her eyes and leaned back against the cabinets. "It's okay, Beth. Let's just try and come up with a solution, yeah?"

For the rest of the night Sarah sat on the living room couch and stared aimlessly at the wall, hoping that she'd get struck with an epiphany for the problem at hand. Beth too stayed quiet, trying to come up any kind of solution, and trying not to have Sarah snap at her. It would be easier if they didn't hate each other, especially considering they don't know how long Beth will be stuck with her.

The sun was just beginning to stream through the blinds when there was a loud banging on the door. Jumping, Sarah turned to the door and stared at it. _Answer it, _Beth encouraged as Sarah groggily got up from the couch and walked over to the door.

Unlocking it and swinging it open, Sarah's face fell when she took in the equally exhausted Alison. Dark bags under her eyes, eyes tinted red from crying, and it was clear she was still so confused and hurt from their visit last night.

Looking up, Alison stared at Sarah and took in the heavy bags beneath her eyes as well. "You didn't sleep either?" Alison questioned and Sarah just shook her head. "So that was real what happened last night? She actually came and visited me in your body?"

"Yeah. It happened. I'm sorry; I didn't know you two were…"

"Yeah, I know it's crazy to think anyone could love me, huh?"

"No that's not at all what I was thinking. I could see what you two had had been something real. Why would I make fun of that? I'm happy that you had her and she had you. You were there for her always and whether you know it or not, you're the reason she did what she had to. She loves you."

Tears welled up in Alison's eyes as she studied Sarah tensely. Her voice cracked when she said her next words. "She's still in there isn't she?"

Sarah closed her eyes and nodded. "She can't seem to get out. She's not enjoying it too much, I don't think. She's barely said anything to me for the past few hours."

_That's because I don't want to upset you anymore. _Beth whispered her voice hoarse from the tears that she's cried while watching Sarah and Alison interact.

"Knowing Beth, that's probably because she thinks you'll hate her more. She does tend to talk a lot when something's on her mind. Well, at least she used to… She never talked to me about what was going on with Maggie Chen or any of that stuff."

_Say something; please say something to let her know it wasn't her fault. _Beth pleaded.

Sarah scratched her left eyebrow and then nodded. "I think that's just because she didn't want to worry you. She was going through a lot and it all just became too much for her to handle. She knows she had you to go to, she was just trying her best to protect you from it all, and her solution to it was to… you know. She doesn't blame you, Alison, because it wasn't your fault at all. It's was all Beth's doing. And it's killing her to see you blaming yourself for this. Alright?"

Alison nodded and sniffled before wiping her tears away. Just then the door opened and Paul walked through the threshold only to stop when he saw Alison and Sarah standing there talking. Paul looked at the distressed soccer mom and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Alison, right? You okay?" He asked, face full of concern. Alison nodded and gave him a small smile. "Alright… Hey." He went over to Sarah and placed a kiss against her cheek.

"Hey. I thought you weren't coming back till the weekend?" Sarah said as she turned and watched Paul grab a beer from the fridge and popping it open.

"Cody called and asked if I wanted to join him in a fishing trip till Sunday night." Paul said. "I figured I'd take a break from this entire cloning thing since things are quiet right now."

"Yeah, sure," Sarah agreed.

"Oh before I forget…" Paul reached into his bag and pulled out a small monkey beanie baby to hand to Sarah. "For Kira, I saw it at the gas station and figured."

Taking the toy, Sarah smiled and said, "Thank you. I'm sure she'll love it." She then got unto her toes to give him a kiss.

"Alright, I gotta go pack then I'll be out of your hair." He then went into the bedroom and exchanged clothes from his bag.

"I have to go get the kids ready for school. Can I come back over later?" Alison asked.

"Of course," Sarah smiled before Alison left.

Sighing, Sarah flopped unto the couch her fingers playing with the arms of the toy monkey. "What a bloody mess," she muttered to herself. Shutting her eyes, she rested her head in the palm of her hand on the arm of the couch.

_Sarah, who's Kira?_

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A/N: thoughts? review! :)


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